About three year ago, I received one of the worst reports imaginable in life. This happened at a time I was so committed to God and fully engaged in ministry as a young star. I never imagined getting a disappointing report in life – at least not at that time.
Long story short, there I was, looking straight at our course results from which I found out that I had gotten a retake. This was really bad because it was my last year at University.
It took me close to a month to really believe that I was not going to graduate. At one moment I thought it was a night mare I would wake out of. I thought again; Will the lecturer pardon me, have mercy and increase my marks? I wondered how I would break such news to my single mother, my elder brothers who had sacrificed much to see me in school.
Did I think of committing suicide? I honestly did. I thought of every nasty thing imaginable – bribing the lecturer, or the academic registrar of Vice Chancellor himself. If you know how it feels to be vulnerable you understand what I am talking about. I just wanted the pain of this disappointment to stop.
At that low point in my grief, I simply wasn’t willing to gloss over the nice-sounding verses in the bible. I couldn’t reconcile any passage with my experience, with reality.
But I wanted to. I wanted to figure out how the scriptural promises of success apply not only to me, but also to any believer who suffers, especially now.
I wanted to know, Can I expect God to bring me through this? And if not, what are these promises about God’s help in the Bible all about?
From Jude’s song of praise, “the only wise God our Saviour” (Jude 1:25, KJV) – it is here that I was reminded that God’s ways are above my own ways. I don’t know how it happened but I was able to get over the depressing cloud over time.
I received supernatural encouragement as I poured out my hearts to the Heavenly Father and expressed my emotions. I asked Him for His wisdom to understand and His peace to guard my hearts.
I received a promise from God which I decided to use as my headline – Thousands falling all around you, but it will not come near me.
I received supernatural assurance that much as in the physical it looked like I was completely down and flat on the ground, God still had me in his hands. I was not out of his plan. He had not dropped me or given up on his promises for my life.
I thought my failure was punishment for sin. The Spirit of God told me righteousness does not come from ourselves, but from God. We are to contend for the faith and persevere.
A peace that passes understanding filled me. A calmness and a rest in God came over my heart their after. God told me this was not the end. For as long as I was in him, none of what scared me would prosper since He was in and around me.
Amid all the pitfalls and disappointment of this world, our Savior is able to keep us .
God is able to preserve His own. One day we will stand in His very presence fully satisfied, sanctified and blameless (Colossians 1:22). We rely on His power, not our own.
Psalm 91 — thousands falling all around you, but it will not come near you, the believer in God. Believe God. Don’t limit the Holy One of Israel!
By Nakalema Grace.
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