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By Our Reporter & Conquer Series
Every year, one major porn website proudly reports its statistics from the previous year. They tend to display them as a badge of honor, idolizing the sex industry. But the reality is that it merely provides a more in-depth look into the darkness lurking on the internet.
The 2019 report found that:
- On average, there were 115 million visits to the website PER DAY.
- More than 1.3 million hours of new content were uploaded to the site. That’s enough content to last for 169 years. In other words, if you started watching the videos in 1850, you’d still be watching them today.
- 61% of visitors to the site are between the ages of 18 and 34 years-old.
- Worldwide, 32% of visitors to the site were female.
- The most common time to watch porn each week is Sunday nights around 11:00 pm.
For the Church, the last statistic should be overwhelmingly surprising. It can be quite shocking to realize that church-going men and women spend time viewing porn.
Pornography gets a pandemic boost
Due to the worldwide pandemic that has already taken thousands of lives, concerns about a rise in porn usage may seem trivial.
Reports from major adult content websites show porn searches are up, in part, because a lot of people are at home with more time on their hands than usual. However, they may also be up because some people are using porn as a coping mechanism for dealing with their fear of disease and death.
How to live a life free from porn during the lockdown
First, understand that these are not instant results. You will not turn off your computer one night and wake up the next morning feeling totally free and renewed. Your recovery will take time and effort, and it will be painful along the way. But it will all be so worth it.
1. Develop Healthier Relations
If you’re like many with a desk or office job, you might be working from home on a laptop. It may be necessary to retreat to your bedroom or remote location of your home for a video conferencing call. However, understand that working from a private area may not be ideal. Decide on a public area in your home to set up your home office, such as your living room, dining room, or family room. Working in a communal place within your house serves as a simple check and balance.
Adding accountability software to your home devices is also a powerful way to protect yourself from yourself while online. Yes, you might feel that you can do it without these safeguards. But, we know from experience and from others who have gone before you that they do help with recovery. While nearly all of the available options require a paid, monthly subscription, it is honestly a small price to pay when compared to the help it can provide.
Ad Blocking
Do you share a computer with your wife? Does she shop online? You may start seeing ads popping up here and there from the places she shops. If she has been searching for a bathing suit, suddenly the sidebar ads on ESPN and other sites will display women clad in little to nothing. Consider utilizing ad blocking apps and software that will help cut down on these teasers.
‘Reader’ or ‘Simplified’ View
Chrome and other browsers can be set to serve up a simplified view while you’re reading or working from a tablet. Go into your system settings and switch to simplified view. This can significantly reduce some of the visual clutter from the websites you access.
2. Limit Your Time Online
Choose to work for a set period of time. Make sure, however, that you are scheduling breaks. This will help you balance your time both online and offline. While we are all working from home, the hours fly by and there’s a blur between work and family. Taking time away from your device or computer can be helpful to set boundaries. The goal is to prevent yourself from working too much using the tools that easily become a vice. We can all agree that technology is helpful for work. It’s also a distraction when you’re fighting the urge to view images that are unhelpful to your journey out of porn addiction.
Researcher and author Tim Simon wrote, “When you’re feeling good about yourself you are more likely to want to seek out company and engage in sociable positive activities. Many men who are giving up porn claim that exercise helped them by giving them energy and the confidence to get out from behind the computer screen and engage with people and real women.”
3. Gain A Higher Value of Yourself and Others
Your pornography usage most likely was rooted in your past when you were abused, ridiculed or neglected by people close to you. You turned to porn to help self-medicate your pain.
When you quit porn, you will realize that whatever negative labels were stuck on you no longer define you. The shame will fade away as your self-respect blossoms. Your renewed or brand-new relationships with your family and friends will prove that you are indeed worthy of being loved.
Author Marnia Robinson explained that people quitting porn notice increased self-esteem. ”Their desire to connect with others surges. So does their confidence, their ability to look others in the eye, their sense of humor, their perception of their ‘manliness,’ their concentration, charisma, their optimism, their judgment, their attractiveness to potential mates, and so forth.”
Since you will have experienced the pain of feeling unworthy of acceptance, you will also have a higher value on other people. You will understand that every person should be cherished as the unique creation they are.
4. Praying for ‘Self-Control’
During this time where each day looks different based on what the local restrictions are with work and school, it can be challenging to turn our minds towards God. Colossians 3:2 tells us, “Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.” When we don’t know what to expect from our days and weeks, we can turn to God and set our minds on His ways and His desires for us to love and honor Him in all we do.
Paul writes in Galatians 5 about the ‘fruit of the spirit,’ which is the work that can happen in and through us, through the power of Jesus Christ, when we live in the power of the Spirit. While most of us feel as if we’re lacking when we hear this list, it can also be comforting to know that we are promised the skills and abilities that go alongside faith in God.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.” (Galatians 5:22-26)
5. Acknowledging Weakness
During times of increased stress or trauma, you may find yourself easily tripped up or tempted to revert back to pornography. But when we belong to Christ, we can embody the self-control granted to us through the power of the Holy Spirit.
It’s okay to acknowledge your weaknesses and to cry out to God for a heaping helping of ‘self-control’. You wouldn’t be the first to do this in stressful situations, and you won’t be the last. The dawn of each day brings a new opportunity to start over.
Many find it impossible to fight back the demons of pornography addiction alone. Though you have God fighting on your side, you will still need support. Find a group of men who are walking similar paths. This can prove to be both invaluable and essential to your success.
Find more resources at the Conquer Series.
