As a nation, we should do our very best to curb the increase of failed marriages and relationships in society. Over time, I have learnt that most successful relationships are strengthened by the couple’s intention to marry. Choosing to do what we ought to is the best solution to relationship problems.
As a couple, intentionally reject certain programs for the good of your relationship. The Bible encourages us not to be busy bodies.
2 Thessalonians: 3:11-12: “For we hear that some among you are leading an undisciplined life, doing no work at all, but acting like busybodies. Now such persons we command and exhort in the Lord Jesus Christ to work in quiet fashion and eat their own bread.”
If you’re married, interest yourself in being intentional on certain things like, having a meal at least with your family, spend time with them and try to understand how life is being done on their side.
Of the things that consume 90% of our relationship time, 88% of them will not save our marriages or relationships. Yes, your friends will be there to comfort and console you but, is it what you wanted? Your marriage should be top priority. One needs to always remind themselves, that people move on past our challenge and even start talking about it in our absentia or even make our case as reference to save other relationships.
The church needs to be real in addressing family issue, sugar coating and pampering believers isn’t working in our favor, and while many have been wedded many aren’t happy.
On my wedding day my Pastor said something I still remember “you’re getting married to enjoy not endure.” A fulfilled marriage doesn’t come on a silver place. There is an investment for this enjoyment to be realized. It is true that there are people who just enduring in as much as there are those enduring and keeping up faces.
Be in Control of yourself and your relationship. In 2016 reality hit me in revelation that “the doctor, can prescribe rest but the duty is upon me to rest or not.” On this, I decide on where to be and not to. Previously, I wasn’t in control, I feared people’s opinions if I weren’t where they expected me to be but I always rephrase the words of Jesus “what shall it benefit to make everyone happy and loose my family?” I can be great minister, writer, and top executive but in the end, who do I enjoy with, or who shall mourn with me if all this is gone?
In his sermon “Go Home” Joshua Kakaire, encourage believers to go home and share their lives with family. When Jesus had healed the man with legion, the man wanted to stay around with Jesus but in response, “Go Home” was Jesus’ recommendation.
Being where we always want is intentional and sometime, there are good places like Church, but our Pastors need to encourage marrieds to “go home” to their families just like Jesus did.
derrickibbedi@gmail.com
Derrick Kibbedi is a relationship counselor, married and blessed with four children.
