We are born and raised into a culture of comparison, where each of us is aware of how well we’re prospering in relation to others.
Career-wise, well known Ugandan Journalist Nancy Kacungira believes that this lifestyle has dragged many away from their commitment, hence losing focus and determination for the things they are destined to achieve.
“I’m not convinced that it’s easy to stop these thoughts from coming altogether but having the proper framework or ‘filing category’ for them can prevent them from causing you angst,” the correspondent at BBC News says.
“Often, we are advised to stop comparing ourselves to others and instead compare ourselves to ‘who we were yesterday’, and work on continuous improvement. That’s a better approach than envying someone else, but it still doesn’t always get to the root of the problem. Even if you compare you to you, you may end up just as unhappy because the fundamental issue is that you are not comfortable with where you are; whether that’s relative to someone else, or to your own idea of where you should be,” the 32-year-old explains.
Nancy, who was one of the two moderators at the Ugandan presidential debate in 2016, says the unhappiness that comes from comparison cannot be truly dealt with by changing the thing we are comparing yourself to.
She believes what must be dealt with then, is the thinking that compels us to measure our progress this way.
Nancy says comparison can only be replaced by contentment, and that contentment comes from accepting your personal journey.
“We tend to compare ourselves with those who are better off than us, not worse, because it is our own feeling of inadequacy that highlights others’ success as evidence of our failure. Just as those with a superiority complex look to those ‘below’ them as evidence of who they are, not those above,” she says.
Nancy started her media career as a radio presenter at Power FM, a Christian radio station in Kampala, Uganda. In 2010 Nancy together with her older sister Seanice Kacungira co-founded Blu Flamingo; a digital media management company. She moved from radio to TV at NTV Uganda as a news anchor from 2012 to 2013, after which she moved to Kenya to work for KTN News Kenya as a Social Media Editor in late 2013.
“When we compare ourselves to other people, we are like drivers on a race track. On a race track you can safely assume that everyone is trying to achieve the same thing; you all want to win the same trophy. Going slower than someone else has serious ramifications because it means you’re likely to lose. You have no interest in helping other drivers; after all, they are your competition. Other drivers only make gains at your expense, because on a race track there can only be one winner,” Nancy emphasizes.
She continues, “But when you choose contentment over comparison, you become like a driver on a highway. You understand that every driver is on their own journey to a different destination. It doesn’t matter if someone overtakes you; you’re not going to the same place nor do you need to be there at the same time – in fact you have no idea where they’re going. You are happy to smile and wave at other drivers or pull over when they need help; they’re not your competition, just fellow travelers. You do not know the itineraries of all the other drivers, so you can’t pass judgement on how fast or slow they go, or when they take a path that seems unconventional – and it certainly has no bearing at all on your own journey.”
“This is not about other people having better luck or getting good breaks, or the world being unfair; it’s about your lack of contentment with your own journey. Remind yourself that we’re all on a highway not a race track, on different life journeys to different destinations. Embrace the freedom that gives you to celebrate fellow travelers enthusiastically, genuinely, with a pure and open heart,” she concludes.
