Should Christians go out with or date a non-Christian – the age old problem of having a Christian girlfriend or boyfriend that doesn’t believe? Is dating non-believers an option for Christians? Shouldn’t we be equally yoked with someone who believes that Christ?
“He’s the nicest guy I’ve met in ages. It’s not as if I ever meet anyone – and who knows, he might become a Christian. What could be the harm; he acts more like a Christian than my Christian friends do,” many usually say.
There is of course nothing inherently wrong with dating a non-Christian. There are stories of Christians going out with non-Christians who subsequently give their life to God and the two go on to get married. But there are many more stories to the contrary of great heartache and eventual splitting of partners either before or after marriage – sometimes much later in life.
I tell my counseling clients all the time that modern psychology points to the benefits of being married to someone with whom you are “spiritually in-sync.”
Faith and spirituality are such important factors in our lives that those who have them in common tend to have a lower divorce rate. This statistic rings true for all belief systems, because having this integral part of our identity in common is like strings that hold two people together.
But above and beyond the strings of “commonality,” believers in Christ are held together by something even greater: the Spirit of God who lives, breathes and works in us and through us.
Those who are united in Spirit cannot be separated (Mark 10:9). According to Scripture, when God joins something together, something powerful happens that can’t be separated by mere man. The Spirit of God is the only guarantee that we will have what it takes to love, to confess, to sacrifice, to give and to forgive one another.
I am not saying that marriages between people of different faiths never work at all, or that simply being a “Christian” guarantees that we will make good choices in our marriage or that we will be exempt from divorce. But when both partners in a marriage are allowing God’s spirit to work in their lives, they then have the power to say no to their sin and flesh rather than being ruled by it.
For Christians, marriage is about more than just companionship. It’s about the display of the glory of God at work through our relationship (Ephesians 5:31-33). Marriage is a glorious display of Christ and the Church—of sacrifice, and the laying down of our lives for one another. If we’re not looking at marriage with this purpose in mind, we’re actually missing what marriage is all about.
Don’t let fear drive you into the arms of someone with whom you can’t share every single part of your life. God calls us to make relationship choices in our lives not based out of fear, but out of faith—faith that God is faithful, that He is good and that His great plan for your life is worth the wait. Don’t settle for anything less.
Here to answer your questions; Debra K. – a Christian and Licensed Professional Counselor specializing in Relationship and Marital issues. Send in your questions at Info@ugchristiannews.com or mycinderellastory@ugchristiannews.com.
