By Dickson Tumuramye
OPINION | This term, my boy changed a school and he is very excited about it. One of the reasons is because of his new friends he has already made, which sounds very nice. I now know that my 6 year old son is a social person. In fact in our residence, he is like a chairperson LC1, because he knows most kids and he can pull all them to himself; young and old and he is good at engaging them.
However, this has come with its own challenges. Because most of his friends believe in him so much, they make up a big group to play with during evening time and he forgets to complete his home work and house chores. He can also just disappear from home anytime. The peer influence is too much amidst all our efforts to control it. We are managing but once in awhile, you can hardly see him when you need him. He is so playful that he can rather miss meals but not group games.
These days, our children are developing relationships in different ways. We need to appreciate that, because we are all social beings. The bible also recognizes the value of friends “A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” (Prov. 18:24 NKJV). There is also an increasing influence of social media especially Whatsapp and facebook where they are able to catch up with their old friends and make of new ones.
Nonetheless, I would like to advise parents that you should try as much as possible to know the friends of your children whether young or adult. This will help you to discover their behaviors, interests and objective for such friendships. Your child should not be in a relationship with someone just for the sake of it. As a parent, you should know the end result of this relationship. Even if it is between same sexes, get to know what these people do together and how it all began. Be in the know of all your child’s details as long as you still have direct influence on the growth affairs.
Encourage your children to bring their friends home to visit when you are there. You may get a chance to discern something in that person which your child possibly has not yet realized. And here you will be able to give counsel/advice accordingly.
If your child is already involved in a relationship, it is your responsibility to know who is dating your child. It is not wise to let your child date someone for two years without your knowledge. If that is happening, I bet there is no good relationship between you and your son/daughter. It can also be that your child takes long to make a decision and thus he/she is ever in and out of relationships and does not feel free to share it immediately.
The children may not be confident enough to confide in you and this is something that you should work upon. You should be a friend to your children and they should at least be able to share with you some of their secrets or engagements. Some things should not come to you as a surprise and you live to regret why you never played your role properly. Use your time wisely to be in charge of your child’s well being holistically.
The writer is a child advocate.
