Courtesy photo.
The founder of Amazing Grace Faith Church Apostle Anthony Wonder Muhumuza and his wife Irene Muhumuza have been married for 11 years.
The couple took to social media recently to celebrate their marriage anniversary amid a strict nationwide lockdown imposed by government to curb the spread of the novel coronavirus.
The two explained that thriving in a God-glorifying marriage is vital not only for a couple, but also for their children, as well as those who might be positively influenced by their efforts.
Apostle Anthony first met Irene at a Church-led youth conference in Kitintale, a suburb located in Kampala. Irene was only 19 years of age at that time, and in her s.6 vacation.
“We became very good friends over a period of time,” Irene said, before answering various questions from viewers on marriage, together with her husband.
Do you ever feel tired of each other?
IRENE: You didn’t get married to a feeling, or an idea. Marriage is real. It is a big part of life. Marriage is a lifetime commitment. Once you know you’re committed to your partner, whether the ‘butterflies’ are there or not, you’re committed. It’s a covenant.
Nevertheless, as a couple, you have to keep the fire burning. You need to create things in your life that make you happy, as a couple. There are those little things that you used to do when you started out as a couple, don’t forget them.
What advice do you have for people who think marriage is not easy? Some say it is hell.
IRENE: You can’t say marriage is easy or that it is hard. Marriage is what you make it, according to me.
Usually, before some people get married, they acquire a lot of ideas. They read many books. But I chose to work out my marriage in a personal way. Yes, I have people I look up to, who have been married before me, but I decided to do marriage my own way. Why? Because I believe the person I married is unique to me. I don’t go knocking on people’s doors to find out how their marriage is doing, so I can copy, and bring [their ideas] into my marriage. No. I decided to do what works for me. I think what makes marriage difficult is trying to copy things from one marriage and then trying to bring them to yours. Marriage is made out of two unique people… My marriage is what I’ve decided to make it.
ANTHONY: I agree with that. Our personalities are different. It is okay to learn from others… But I must say you cannot try to make your marriage exactly like someone else’s. You have different personalities, you have a different calling, and marriage has a lot to do with understanding the person you’re dealing with, and finding a common ground where you meet… As an individual, I have to study my own person and find out how to have fun and be happy with her without having to compare her with someone else.
What’s your perception on submission?
IRENE: I draw my submission from the Word of God. Oftentimes, when I have questions in life, I usually go back to the beginning, in the book of Genesis, when God created man and woman. That is where I get my notes from.
Then, I look at people like Sarah in the Bible. I study her life. I study how she revered her husband, how she submitted and that is what I always go for. To me, submission is very important. And it does not mean you lose yourself submitting to your husband.
Submission mean you should delight in taking your position as a wife in a home. It does not mean you’re below your husband or that your opinion does not matter. It simply means you take your position as a wife in a home.
How can one be submissive?
IRENE: Submission is powered by the fear of God.
Before you get to know the person you’re married to, or fully trust him, you often have your own inner reservations. You wonder, ‘what if this happens or what if this doesn’t happen?’ Such thoughts prompt you to have another plan. That’s how we are raised usually, to have another sense that tells us what to do, ‘you should have a plan B, don’t give him your heart, don’t give 100%.’ But as you grow in life, you realize that actually, there is nothing in holding back.
What advice do you have for those preparing for marriage?
ANTHONY: You have to make sure that you built your love and friendship on these things:
- Spirituality.
- Compatibility (you have the same interest or you know how to go around each other’s interests.)
- Communication (both verbal and nonverbal communication).
- Master money (understand how to handle money).
Do you have insecurities in your marriage?
IRENE: I used to when I was still young, but now, I have grown. Insecurities come mostly if you don’t know who you are, or you feel like your validation comes from other people. But once you get to know who you are, first of all, who you are in Christ, then you make a conscious effort to make yourself better. I think the securities go. The other way to deal with insecurities is by trusting God with your spouse.
How does one deal with financial hardships in marriage?
IRENE: We need to know as a couple that we are in this together. And that we are on the same team. So, any advance is for the two of us. And any setback affects the two of us. So, as you pray through a situation, as you work hard, make sure you don’t judge the other person. Being angry at your spouse is not going to help you.
ANTHONY: When a family is in financial straits. And you the man are the cause, it is definitely normal and natural that your wife may not take your instructions as you give them because evidently, you brought the family into trouble.
During financial hardship, I had to build confidence again as a leader in my home by telling my wife that look, you still have to believe in me, and give me advice so we get out.
As a woman, you need to understand that even if your husband brought you into financial trouble, you can come out again by supporting him and letting Him be the man.
