No one can make you feel inferior without your consent, says Eleanor Roosevelt. Self confidence is a virtue that you will not learn from class but from yourself. It’s you to convince yourself that you are worth and of great value even when no one believes in you. If you haven’t discovered yourself; your talents, abilities, strengths and weaknesses, this is your time to do self- reflection and discovery.
There are children who grow up when they very timid even to sit in public as long as people they are not used to are there. It is hard for such children to say something among other children. Reasons for lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem may vary but the outcome on your child may be of great impact.
One of the ways to help your child is to assure them profess the word of God. First of all, a child needs to know that s/he is created in God’s image (Gen.1:27), s/he is fearfully and wonderfully made (Ps.139:14), you are a child of God (John 1:12), God is a true friend (Is. 49:15-16), a heir of God (Rom.8:17). When s/he gets to you know that s/he carries the DNA of God in them, they will stir up themselves and possess their positions. This may give a child inner freedom which no one can give him/her except the Holy Spirit.
Children should understand that self-confidence comes from their positive attitude. The way one looks at him/herself is the way you perceive your life. When David saw Goliath, the Philistine giant, 3 metres tall who was a champion in wars, well armoured with spears etc and David was just a shepherd, a young small man; that never stopped him from confronting and killing him. David knew that the One in him is greater than that uncircumcised man (1 Sam.17-GNB).
Self-confidence helps children face their challenges with confidence. Everyone’s responsibility to manage his/her life matters a lot. Paul tells Timothy and Titus that let no ONE despise you/your youth but he cautions Timothy to be an example to in speech, conduct, love, faith, purity (1 Tim.4:12, Titus 2:15).
A child needs to know that self-confidence starts with him/her doing what s/he feels is right even when others criticize them for it, the willingness to take risks, getting out of their comfort zone and working hard for better life regardless of life setbacks, learning from criticism and appreciate/recognize your mistakes, learn from what one has already achieved in life, capitalize on their strengths than weaknesses/failures, get in groups/friends who add value to them, not comparing themselves to others.
To this child, this is what he should also know. You are yourself not a duplicate. You don’t need anyone to keep reminding you that you are beautiful or handsome. It begins from your conviction about yourself. If this is hard to get inner satisfaction, then watch yourself in a mirror, point at yourself there and shout louder that you are. If no one has ever told you “I love you”, then remember that God says it to you daily (John 3:1).
I would like to encourage our children to read books or go online on articles about developing self-confidence, self-esteem and practice such steps. They should not die, being downcast at themselves. They can ask you how they can overcome the challenges they encounter. No man is an island. Parents also need to help their children who don’t have self-esteem and self-confidence.
tumudickson@gmail.com
The writer is a child advocate and parenting coach.
