The increased usage of the internet has given rise to another silent yet very detrimental and traumatic vice to marriages; cyber sex. Cyber sex is a romantic and/or sexual relationship with someone other than the spouse, which begins with an online contact and is maintained mainly through the cyber space and chat rooms. However, in some cases it becomes a reality and I believe the result of this is “blind dates.”
One morning I received this WhatsApp link which invited me to chat live with nude girls. On top of chatting I was promised to receive nude pictures, videos made by the same. I was told a girl would undress for me and I would command her to do whatever I want her to do at a cost of 32,000/= and this would last for one hour. After reading this message, I asked the person who sent me the thread, “isn’t this torment to myself?”“But you’re going to enjoy watching not torment.” Replied the sender. I didn’t buy her product anyway because of the perception I had. I nevertheless picked up lessons to share with other men.
One would argue that it is just 32,000/= only, but do you know this is something you shall not do once and could lead addiction to the same? Because like all sexual vices it’s not a one off but it always increases the desire to fill the vacuum. If you are on Facebook, you will notice posts which encourage men to share their contact beneath the picture of a nude woman or call the admin for a connection at a fee. And if you are critical enough you will observe that there is a line of men commenting with their numbers, beside the money issue, there has been a moral degeneration on intimacy and men keep jumping from one post to another in a quest to find pleasure.
“There is a certain man who desired to catch his own shadow. He makes a step or two towards it but it moves away from him. He quickens his pace; it the same and at last he takes to running but the quicker he goes, the quicker runs the shadow also, utterly refusing to give itself just as if it had been a treasure.” Similarly, a man who tries to satisfy his sexual appetite online is losing his energy catching something he will not have as if it is a treasure, instead, you will mislay sleep, money, energy and time but will not catch anything instead, you are creating more space to fill with what you don’t have; this kind of relationship is distressing and also breeds other habits that affect your marriage.
I will share more in the subsequent article.
derrickibbedi@gmail.com | @kybedi_derek
