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Self control is important: Joel Ssenyonyi on being a virgin till now

Joel Ssenyonyi. Photo courtesy of subject.

Two married men and two single were hosted at Watoto Church down town during the Power, Sex and Money gathering that takes every Friday. Mr Jeff Sebuyira, just like Mr Isaac Nsereko revealed that he has been marriage to his wife for 19 solid years.

The singles unveiled included popular DJ and information technology consultant Peruz. He was joined by influential journalist, Joel Ssenyonyi.

This is part of what Joel Ssenyonyi shared with the congregants.

Why do Christian men opt for non-Christian women?

Joel Ssenyonyi; Sometimes it looks as though the ladies want to become ‘assistant Holy Spirit’. You tell her I love you, she says; Amen.  Relax, loosen up. Love your Jesus, be beautiful but, for heaven’s sake, we are on earth. We might not be of the world, but we are in it. I am not saying let your guard down, but be a human being. Men might find that the other ladies are a little easy to flow with..while we are spiritual people, we are human beings. You want to take her for a movie, she wants to come for an over night. Come for the over night, it is important, but don’t come for it every day of the evening. I don’t how some people do it, you are in church all through. Even Christ went out of the synagogue and went all over the place, let us relax a bit.

Cultivating self control before Marriage

Joel Ssenyonyi; I’m a virgin, some people might think that maybe I do not have opportunities, or that my ‘things’ don’t function. Of opportunities, they are immense. In fact, I was about to report a police case. About the ‘things’ God blessed me with, they are working. However, just because they work, doesn’t mean I go all over putting them in every place. Guarding my self is not because there is a problem. I have decided to have self control. I am not saying that I’m perfect. When it happens, I say; Joel get back to order. While I got born again, this flesh, it refused. That is why when I eventually die, it will rot away – because it refused to get saved. But self control is important. We can and should have it.

Are Church brothers slow?

Joel Ssenyonyi; Some times ladies misconstrue, they think a guy is too slow, and yet plainly, he is not interested. The problem is this, sometimes as guys, we lead on the ladies, which is very wrong. Don’t lead her on if you are not ready to go all the way. Ladies, for your safety, if this guy keeps on calling you asking how you are, asking if you have eaten, picking you and dropping you off more often, for heaven’s sake, clarify. If he is not saying anything, you clarify. If he is wasting your time, disappear. But don’t assume things thinking he is slow yet he is not interested.

Declaring your salary figure to your partner, how important is it?

Joel Ssenyonyi; It is extremely important because one plus one has become one. It is a question of trust that we are in this together. But when I am dating you, I am not your father. This business of; Watoto Church changed my story. So, I should change your story – when we are dating, I love you yes, but I’m not going to pay your rent, feed you and all these different things. Before you misconstrue me, I love to help people, even strangers – regularly and ably as I can – If I can do so for a stranger, I certainly should be able to come in when my lover has a need however, it is not mandatory or under obligation. That every month I sign to you a check for rent, school fees – I have not adopted you, I am just a boyfriend.

When we get married, there I take full responsibility. I become your provider. But if we are still dating, for heaven’s sake go back to your father or whosoever is concerned – but if you have a challenge, you can share with me and I should be able to help – but not under obligation and vice versa.

In his remarks, Ronnie Habasa, co-host of the gathering urged ladies not to play the role of a wife to a man one is not formally married to. This statement was inspired by a question raised from the audience where a woman said she was cohabiting but the boyfriend does no house chores.

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