By Aaron Sseruyigo
KAMPALA – The institution of marriage has come under a great deal of scrutiny, and media reports have singled out “modern technology” as one of the reasons why married couples are initiating divorce.
While addressing believers recently, Pastor Robert and Jessica Kayanja, who have been married for over 25 years now, explained that overuse of cell phones can lead to greater dissatisfaction within relationships, and also opened new avenues for engaging in what they termed as “emotional infidelity.”
Competition with technology
Having helped several couples reconnect and restore understanding, the Miracle Centre Catheral- Rubaga lead Pastors revealed that one of the things that often comes up is the way a husband or wife engages with their phone and social media.
Robert and Jessica were quick to discourage listeners from divorce, noting that married couples must not allow technology to interfere in their relationships. They explained that each couple should “make an effort to cling on” regardless of how challenging it gets overtime.
To cling is to prioritise, Pastor Jessica explained, people today are competing with technology.
She said there are so many issues of derailment and diversion in the world, but couples have to make an effort to stay in line.
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh,” Pr Jessica quoted Genesis 2:22, adding, “Marriage is a covenant, and like any other form of covenant, it involves a form of sacrifice – a form of departition – when the departing is not thoroughly done, you will meet issues like emotional infidelity, where someone is physically present, but emotionally distant.”
No body is completely immune of diversion
“I believe a marriage is worked at. No body is completely immune of diversion or distracted attention. Everybody has the ability to derail, but people have to go out of their way and make an effort. When you fill the desire to depart, you must know that you are normal, but must also realise that just as other people are making an effort to stay in line, you too must make an effort to cling,” she added.
God never imposed Eve on Adam
Pastor Kayanja explained that technology is here to enhance our lives, not to control them.
“There is a purpose why God ordained marriage. The bible says; ‘for this purpose, a man will leave.’ There is purpose in everything. If you got married, you must purpose to make it happen. One of the things I have discovered, which could be the biggest problem, is failure. And by failing, we adapted the blame game.
“How do I know I have found ‘Mr Right’, or found ‘Ms Wonderful’? This is how you are going to know, it has to come from you. God never imposed Eve on Adam. Before Adam entered into marriage, he was looking for a companion. That is why the bible says; he who finds a wife. You must desire somebody. Marriage must start with desiring. Once you do that, God starts making a way for you.
“Never go to a church because you have seen a man or woman going there that you like. Go there to seek God. In God there is patience and purpose. And if there is purpose, you will cling and make an effort. Purpose driven life is very important. You can’t live simply presuming things are working to work themselves out,” Pr Kayanja said.
Leather is better than leaves
He added: “Problems should never separate you. Adam, in his worst situation, stayed with Eve. They were working together to solve the problem of nakedness. A crisis cannot force you to separate. Problems should actually bring you closer, to work together. Where unity is, God commands a blessing.
“When you go before God, He is going to get involved to make you better. When Adam and Eve sought leaves to cover up their nakedness, He saw their unity. God gave them skins to cover up with (Genesis 3:21). Leather is better than leaves. When God sees that you are making an effort to make your marriage work, he will show up. His power, strength will show up. Since you are now in marriage, you must make an effort.” he concluded.