By Dickson Tumuramye
OPINION | Our children have come back from school. In some homes there is great excitement from both children and parents/guardians because of their excellent grades. In other homes, children are cursing why it’s a holiday again either because of their poor performance and the expected reaction from the parents, discipline cases or other challenges. Such child is literally living in “wilderness” than enjoying the home and appreciates the holiday and the reunion of all family members.
Every one in life has that very one thing that is a ‘thorn in the fresh’ as Paul says in 2 Corinthians 12:7. That very thorn is a painful ailment that acts as a Satan’s messenger that keeps you from being somehow proud of yourself. It hinders you from realizing how precious and wonderful you are before the Creator.
A child who has such inward feeling of a thorn in the fresh will not appreciate life if s/he receives negative compliments from his/her lovely parent who should affirm to him/her that s/he is fearfully and wonderfully made and you will make it. Words of affirmation are more powerful to such a child in his/her weaknesses. A very child needs to feel safe from his/her parents. This comes from your love and care regardless of how your child is and how society looks at your child. The love for your children in their weaknesses should surpass anyone’s condemnation, insults, despise, belittling, comments name them.
There are parents who think that best academic performing children at school will be successful in life tomorrow. They are taken as wise almost in everything, under looking at those with poor grades as failures. Judge not your child’s future and success by school’s grades. We are created and gifted differently. The uniqueness in every child’s life is greatly dependant on how you perceive it as a parent and how well you stand with each child individually.
Most parents don’t want to listen to their children and discover their unique potential and interests outside class. Others have never even bothered to ask their children what they want to be in future besides academics. What we only ask our children is what they want to be in future and the interpretation of this is line with formal education, yet other children are meant to succeed in informal setting, much better than the formal educated ones.
There are skills which your child irrespective of age handles better in your family than the ones with better grades ever. But they may never receive credit from their parents because of their poor grades at school. Why can’t you recognize and appreciate them in similar way and promote everyone’s gift accordingly? How many successful businessmen have P.h.Ds in the world? How many successful footballers have degrees?
Did you know that it’s us parents who fail our children and bewitch them with our negative words and names? Teach your children to know that in their weaknesses, God’s grace is sufficient for them and His strength is made perfect in their weaknesses. Your power of love, protection and good words of affirmation are greatest in their self-doubt and inferiority complex.
You can never determine the success of your child’s future with just school grades. Just be patient with each one accordingly and commit their lives before God. Learn to dig out the other side of life and amplify it to greater altitude. Change their attitude positively to help them overcome their weaknesses and teach them to believe in themselves. You will live to rejoice in the due season.
The writer is a child advocate